I hate, love and envy you in equal measures.

There used to be a time when I wished you would leave me alone. Now that has happened and there is nothing in the world I’d love more than a call from you, telling me you miss me and wanting to hear about my day. I used to look at the clock a 11:11 and immediately think about you, and now, I still do. Nothing has changed still everything has; you are the love of my life and you’re not here because i prayed to god you wouldn’t be.

Thus, you haunt me.

My love for you is breaking my heart
the loneliness in which you’ve left me in
the state in which I find myself
destroys and kills, throbs and dries
into permanent molds of sorrow
all named by you
all claimed by you.



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